Pitfalls of online dating: what to watch out for. What are the dangers of online dating? Online dating and sexual slavery
Much has been written about the benefits of dating and communicating with foreigners, but very little about the other side of the coin, that not everything is as rosy as “foreign agents” paint. Today I would like to fill this gap and look at the “dark side of the moon”. Not everything is as good as it may seem and we must be prepared for the worst so as not to fall into traps for suckers. So let's get started ;-)
1. People can lie about who they are.
The Internet allows a person to take on any image he wants, e.g. unscrupulous foreigners can lie about their age, place of residence, level of English language proficiency (Arabs and Indians are especially guilty of this: they pretend to be non-native speakers (native speakers) in order to communicate with Russian girls), family, financial status and many other things, whoever has enough imagination. It is especially dangerous when you are a child or teenager and fall for an uncle who pretends to be the same age. P.e. When you correspond, be sure to keep your parents informed about who you are corresponding with and about. If you are an adult and come across such a foreigner, then there is no point in playing role-playing games with a person who is in the grip of fantasies.
2. Beggars
At first everything goes fine, you communicate well with your pen pal, you open your soul and heart, but then suddenly it turns out that your “friend” is a very poor and unhappy person, etc. he has little grannies (money). “Well, okay, poverty is not a vice,” you think. But then, suddenly it turns out that your friend’s aunt or calf or puppy is sick and he needs financial help, he doesn’t have enough money for medicine and Lieutenant Schmidt’s children are just a little short of complete happiness. This is often the case with representatives of Nigeria, South Africa, Ukraine, Malaysia, and China.
3. The deceitfulness of culture
We think in patterns, stereotypes, and cultural stereotypes are very strong. The “they don’t do that here” syndrome, projected onto the supposed, expected behavior of a foreigner, can lead to some disastrous consequences. Each culture has its own characteristics. Let’s say a person from the East, expressing his thoughts, will say that he will get a star from the sky and devour himself and bite off his ******, etc. etc., (probably already met such people offline?). I think many readers are familiar with this, the people of the North are more restrained in their emotions - they will say the same thing, but much more restrained, or they will not say anything at all, but they will do it.
Therefore, when communicating with foreigners, you don’t need to immediately take their word for everything; perhaps he says one thing, but it can mean something completely different. Those. he may be courteous, courteous, polite and may seem like a very good man, but with further communication you may stumble upon a cold wall, “personal space,” and prudence.
Western culture is distinguished by its commercialism, clear boundaries of communication, tolerance - “friendship is friendship, but tobacco is separate,” i.e. the number with the shirt guy won't work.
Just recently I received this letter from a complete stranger:
"Hello Dear,
My name is ************ Native of American, Caucasian, Heterosexual, Female, located in Baltimore, Maryland United States. Christianity by religion I"m a full time Student and I"m majoring in marketing and getting a minor in International financing. I never smoke and drink. can i know you more better, Get in touch at ***********@yahoo.com Your With Love, Juliet Rawmos"
It would seem that she called me dear, at the end she wrote “with love”, different thoughts may flash through my head, but we must take into account that in her culture these expressions are not given the same meaning as in ours. For example, in our country this word can have many meanings and shades. “Hey, dear” is more of a pretension or, for example, “Dear, dear, swoop in, buy,” and “Dear,” is an address to a loved one, and not to a stranger, etc. I think you can continue this list yourself.
4. Fraud, scam
Considering that the ideas of Ivanushka the Fool are firmly rooted in our people, fraud through correspondence occupies a significant place in Russia and in the countries of the former socialist camp, and a lot of honest people suffer from this. This pitfall also resonates with cultural perceptions. I think few of those who are actively looking for communication with foreigners, registering on all possible foreign dating sites, have never received letters like the one I cited above or that you turn out to be the heir of some prince and you have a lot money in the African Bank or you are asked to help by the millionaire’s relatives and other “children of Lieutenant Schmidt”.
5. Blackmail
You begin to share about your life, “this is a friend,” you trust more and more, pour out your personal secrets and hop, they begin to blackmail you. Blackmail using intimate videos is now popular, when a partner provokes you to undress and other sensual actions in front of the camera, and then demands money so that you do not become a YouTube star.
6. Slavery
You could be sold into slavery! Your pen pal could be a slave trader! What should you be wary of? An offer to come abroad, and all your expenses will be paid, interesting work (on the job)). They are also often offered to work part-time in some hotel or hotel with an offer to buy tickets at the company’s expense, apply for a visa, and meet. All this may seem attractive, but no one gives anything for nothing, so any offers of help should always be checked for scams and slavery.
7. Bullying, rape
There are a lot of perverts in the world. Personal meetings are especially dangerous; the proposal will be met in some park, away from human eyes. Evil people also do not sleep and use correspondence services to find a victim.
8. Involvement in a totalitarian sect
For example, in Russia Mormons, Jehovah's Witnesses, Hare Krishnas, and charismatics are especially active. They will smile at you, care for you, “love” you, but as long as there is hope of drawing you into their sect and subordinating your mind, will, body, family to the organization, and taking possession of your property. Don't give them your phone, otherwise they won't leave you alone.
9. Recruitment for espionage
You may be recruited by foreign intelligence to spy in your home country. They may offer you a good reward, but in your homeland they will quickly put you in bracelets, etc. even the pros get fired up. Well, in general, selling your homeland is bad.
10. Kidnapping
Yes, yes, yes...They may well...Don’t go to the meeting alone...Someone should be nearby for backup. This is especially true for girls. Never go to the apartment or house of a person you know only on the Internet.
- Never give out your exact home address! For regular mail, use a PO Box.
- Never give out information: SNILS, passport, credit card number, driver's license, diplomas and other documents.
- Immediately break off all contacts with a person if you suspect something is wrong.
The Dangers of International Marriage
“Fish looks where it is deeper, but man looks where it is better” (folk wisdom).
And that's okay! It’s normal to look for better living conditions, a better job, city, communication...
But... we don't know where is better. Yes, the problem is that we don't always know what will benefit us.
But how can we find out, at least approximately, what awaits us in the future?
There are different ways to do this, but the surest one is experience. It is impossible to argue with experience, it is impossible to dispute someone’s personal experience, adventure, because the person experienced it himself.
Experience can be your own, but sometimes it can be someone else’s. “A smart person learns from other people’s mistakes, but a fool learns from his own” (folk wisdom).
Therefore, it is better to learn from the mistakes of others, it is more profitable)).
Why does a Russian person want to meet a foreigner?
Usually to get something. These can be a variety of things - gifts, the opportunity to learn a foreign language, get married... Today our topic is about the latter.
There is nothing wrong with wanting to get married. This is how we are created to find our soul mate, to gain integrity (1+0=10).
But our biggest mistake is that we are going to go out and give our life, our youth to just anyone, just because he/she is a foreigner!
And we expect, we hope that we will marry him and we will have everything he has - money, a house, a foreign car, and we will not work and will enjoy it all. But we forget about the identity of the other party.
What does the other party, the foreigner, expect?
What is a Russian woman in the eyes of a foreigner? - about the same thing as a migrant migrant worker in your eyes.
The satisfyer of all his voluptuous, wild fantasies (“a machine for intercourse”), a housekeeper, a cook, a maid, a woman who will endure everything, a slave, deprived of the right to vote... not the end of the list.. - all this can be expressed in one word - “slave "
At first the foreigner doesn’t show it, he looks after him, gives gifts, but when you find yourself on “foreign” territory (...did you think that this was your territory?), when you live with him every day, then all this will manifest itself .
Because in most cases, in the eyes of Europeans and Americans, we are savages, lower class.
Of course, not all foreigners are so bad, there are also sincere, good guys and girls, but this is very rare.
There are a number of reasons why people start online dating. They are usually caused by personal characteristics, lifestyle, and psychological problems. For example, these could be factors such as:
- Shyness. If a man or woman suffers from an inferiority complex, lack of self-confidence, phobias related to communication, and is therefore unable to meet people in person, he or she prefers online dating. You can always be a “star” online, it’s easy to embellish something, hide something, it helps you relax and feel more confident.
- Loneliness and narrow social circle. Unfortunately, for many people their actual social circle is extremely narrow: colleagues, a few friends, a few relatives - and that’s it. Also, the lifestyle itself limits a person (“home-work-home”). In such conditions, there is simply nowhere to meet people, and as a result, a person begins to register on dating sites in order to find a soul mate there.
- Excessive romanticization. Characteristic of some girls in their late teens. Let's say a girl is not delighted with her classmates or classmates and believes that on the Internet she can find a real prince, an oligarch, a genius, a movie star - in a word, someone truly worthy of her, she just has to find contacts and start correspondence. And there she will quickly charm the “object”, and the happy ending is ready. This is certainly a very infantile approach.
- Dissatisfaction with life, poor relationships between spouses. This is another reason why both men and women engage in online dating. Often, after many years of family life, people no longer experience passion or sexual attraction for each other and, accordingly, do not receive emotional and sexual satisfaction. It also happens that spouses live in an atmosphere of constant quarrels, for some reason being unable to get a divorce. All of the above leads some to the idea of finding partners on the Internet. The purpose of the search is usually an easy relationship without obligations.
What are the dangers of online dating?
When communicating online, you can, unfortunately, encounter some rather unpleasant phenomena. Let's try to divide the main dangers into categories. First of all, on the way of a girl looking for a romantic acquaintance on the Internet, she may come across scammers of all stripes who are fluent in manipulation techniques.
Social media scammers
Fraudsters on the Internet are a special type of people who are capable of ingratiating themselves with women and charming them in order to seize their money and property. They usually have a deep knowledge of psychology, the ability to build communication in such a way that the victims themselves voluntarily give them material values. Fraudsters skillfully select the “key” to a girl’s heart, “signaling” to her that she is loved, beautiful, desired, and make her fall in love with them.
There are several types of such personalities:
- "Generous Fans". It may look like this: for example, an online boyfriend tells his crush that he is sending her a gift “directly from Paris,” but then it turns out that the girl must pay for delivery through an international service, the website of which is actually a hoax, and the money arrives directly scammer. Another “pen pal” can invite a girl to come visit him in another city, or even abroad. Carefully drops a link to the airline’s website. A gullible girl leaves her credit card information there, not suspecting that this is also a deception site. Those at risk are, as a rule, middle-aged women and inexperienced girls, often from the provinces.
- "Trapped in a Difficult Situation". These “specialists” make a girl fall in love with them in the already mentioned way (compliments, confessions, etc.), and then seem to find themselves in a difficult situation - an accident, an illness, a card loss, threats from bandits... In general, what is enough imagination. A lady in love, already mentally deciding on the style of a wedding dress, receives a message that her beloved is “in trouble, dying, arrested, needs urgent surgery” and the like. It is easy to understand that a frightened and psychologically traumatized woman immediately gives the required amount of money. Which is exactly what the scammer needed. Again, you can improve the situation, at least return the money, with the help of law enforcement agencies. Who is at risk: women over 30, single, divorced.
- Love extortionists. At times, when a virtual romance flares up, an Internet fan asks to send private photos or videos. You should think ten times before sending them. The fact is that they can find themselves on public display at any moment! The owner or owner of the photo receives a letter from a recent “online dear friend”, which says that if she (he) does not pay such and such an amount, all the pranks in front of the camera will end up with her husband (wife), boss, or simply on YouTube, for example. Unhappy selfie lovers run to transfer money. But, as a rule, scammers do not limit themselves to one time. This is a very serious situation that is almost impossible to stop without the intervention of law enforcement agencies. You will have to choose: eternal monetary “donation” or “turning yourself in”, in which the police, and, most likely, your family and boss will become aware of your hobby, but there is a chance to catch the attacker. Risk group: both women, especially married and successful ones, and men.
Important! That's not all the dangers of online dating. For girls meeting guys on the Internet, there are much bigger threats.
Online dating and sexual slavery
In pursuit of romantic love, girls who meet guys on the Internet can fall into real sexual slavery. This international problem does not lose its relevance. Of course, no one lies in wait for them in dark alleys to grab them, take them away and sell them, but there is the Internet, where slave traders feel quite comfortable and lure their victims with promises of a prestigious, well-paid job or marriage with a rich foreigner.
Criminals are very creative and use various methods to get their victims. The most common methods are:
- Deception under the guise of a marriage agency. Girls are offered an acquaintance with rich single foreigners who are eager to find a bride in Russia (Ukraine, Belarus, etc.). Correspondence is organized, then again follows an invitation to come to the potential groom, payment for a visa and a ticket (in this case real). Sometimes false grooms from abroad register on dating sites as private individuals, and then the same scheme is applied.
- Highly paid job offers. Work in a modeling agency, a prestigious company abroad, the salary is high, experience is not required... Many girls come across such advertisements. Usually, caring “employers” draw up documents, help with the purchase of air tickets, only upon arrival, what awaits you is not a modeling agency at all, but “work” in a brothel. Girls should be very, very careful if they receive such offers on the Internet, because they cannot hire for a truly highly paid and prestigious job without the appropriate education and experience.
Perverts on the Internet
There is another type of danger in online dating - perverts and maniacs. Among Internet perverts there are both relatively harmless and deadly ones, communication with which is fraught with loss of health and life. Although even “relatively harmless” ones can shock and cause mental trauma. There is no need to talk about especially dangerous ones; these are maniacs and even serial killers hiding under the guise of charming guys.
You can recognize a pervert on the Internet by several signs:
Of course, it’s impossible to predict everything, and even the most cautious woman can fall under the spell of experienced Internet criminals, perverts, and maniacs. But it still wouldn’t hurt to be attentive and vigilant, because this is the only way to protect yourself from problems and not become victims of online dating.
In the modern world, many find each other via the Internet by registering on dating sites. What do such Internet novels promise? Is there a danger in online dating? Are there any happy couples who are married thanks to online dating?
Most often, people over 30 who already have family experience behind them—a marriage that broke up—resort to virtual dating. It is at this age that the circle of acquaintances narrows - friends, preoccupied with the burden of family worries, as a rule, have already moved away. Getting acquainted naturally - at a party, wedding, visiting or at work is becoming more and more problematic. Dating sites help break the resulting vacuum.
Pros and cons of dating sites
Virtual communication on dating sites, unlike real communication, has its pros and cons.
Advantages of online dating
One goal. For the most part, single people like you are registered on dating sites, looking for communication, meetings and love. Everyone is united by a common goal - to meet the opposite sex and get rid of loneliness.
Time to think.
Virtual communication makes it possible to take your time in answering a man who is behind the screen of another monitor or gadget. You can re-read the correspondence again, analyze the conversation, reflect before writing a response message.
Planning the first meeting. Preliminary online communication allows you to plan the very moment of acquaintance, in real life. Think in advance about what to wear and what to talk about on the first date.
An option for the shy. If in real life a woman has difficulties meeting new people, then flirting via the Internet is a kind of practical training in real communication.
How to avoid the dangers of virtual dating
You cannot treat online dating with unclouded trust; danger can await you completely unexpectedly when communicating with a person you don’t know well.
Disadvantages of online dating
Bitter reality. You need to be prepared for the fact that the gentleman with whom you have been corresponding for so long may turn out to be completely different in real life than you imagined him to be. He can place his data under other people's photographs or photographs from ten years ago in order to attract attention. And a person with a completely different appearance will come to the meeting... How to avoid this?
Be sure to ask your interlocutor to take a selfie and send it to you by phone or email, or ask him to talk to you on Skype. The more information you know, the less disappointment you will have later.
Internet scammers. It’s worse if your correspondence counterpart turns out to be a scammer. Behind beautiful compliments for gullible women, self-interest and calculation can be hidden. You need to be aware that a person can say anything about himself. You cannot blindly trust a complete stranger.
Eight tips for those who decide to meet people via the Internet
Tip #1. Don’t rush to fall in love in absentia based only on correspondence if you have never seen the person before.
Tip #2. You should always remember your safety and should not reveal all your cards: provide your coordinates, residential address, etc.
Tip #3. For the same reasons, it is better to organize the first meeting on neutral territory in a public place, for example, in a cafe.
Tip #4. In the meantime, while your first meeting has not yet taken place, try to check the information you have heard about your new acquaintance, surf the Internet, maybe the potential gentleman has left a “trace” somewhere - a family photo, where he is with his wife and children, etc. Then you will no longer have the desire to meet.
Tip #5. In order not to encounter such problems, do not hesitate to ask questions that interest you in correspondence to find out more about your potential gentleman. Ask if he has accounts on social networks: VKontakte and Odnoklassniki. Based on the personal page of a person registered on any social network, one can draw many conclusions: who he is friends with, how he lives, what thoughts come to his mind, and understand his interests and desires. The more information you gather before your first meeting, the better!
Tip #6. Therefore, do not rush to agree to a meeting literally immediately after exchanging the first two greeting phrases. First, try to find out details about the person in the correspondence. Pay attention to everything: the culture of communication, whether the person writes competently, whether he answers your questions adequately.
For example, you should be wary if he tells you that he has a page in Contact, but he does not want to show it to you for some reason. This may indicate that the man is not free and is on a dating site only for the purpose of having fun for one night. He doesn’t need relationships, long courtships and sighs under the moon. Such men immediately make an appointment, under the pretext that they are not fans of long correspondence, etc. Remember that a man who is truly interested in you will conduct a dialogue with you, and not impose his terms of acquaintance.
Tip #7. Find out about his tastes and views to check the common interests and kinship of souls. It is very important at the stage of preliminary virtual communication to understand whether there are points of contact or coincidence. Mutual attraction and mutual interest in the future depend on this.
Tip #8. 
When communicating with a potential gentleman, behave naturally, realistically presenting your desires and capabilities. Don’t try to embellish yourself by making up all sorts of tall tales on the fly, for example, about a prestigious job if you don’t have one. You should not adapt to his hobbies and desires in order to please your partner. There's nothing wrong if your hobbies don't match. Surely you will then decide how interesting it is for both of you to spend leisure time together if you like each other in real life.
Despite the fact that most people (according to statistics, more than 80%) meet and find each other through friends or through friends of friends, there are families that were formed thanks to acquaintances via the Internet. This fact does not prevent them from living happily, having a good family, and having children.
You can meet your loved one anywhere: in a cafe, club, gym, at work, but you can wait a very long time for such a fateful meeting. It's a matter of chance, luck, the coincidence of stars in the sky... The Internet gives you more chances to meet your other half, especially if you choose reliable dating sites, such as LinkYou. This is a serious dating service for people who are committed to long-term and lasting relationships with the goal of starting a family. 
I suggest watching the video - “Dating on the Internet! Expectation and reality."
In general, of course, I think this is a very dangerous activity. Therefore, in order to avoid the consequences of meeting a foreigner on the Internet, it is better not to meet anyone on the Internet at all. After all, even meeting a foreigner in person brings big troubles to many. And here in general on the Internet. Those moments are especially dangerous when this same foreigner invites you to come visit him. After all, you don’t even know one hundred percent whether he is telling the truth, where he lives and what he does. Most often, such acquaintances with a foreigner end with our girls being taken abroad, their passports taken away and forced to work for, you know who. So don't bother!
Women often do not suspect the danger a dating site poses for them. It would seem such a harmless thing and registration is free!
However, practice shows that with the advent of such a service, the risk of girls “getting caught up in history” has increased many times over.
Why do you think? There are several reasons - let's look at them now. In addition to maniacs, drug addicts, alcoholics and mentally ill people, meeting whom you should a priori be wary of, keep in mind the following.
What should a woman be wary of on a dating site?
Alice's story (32 years old)
“I first registered on a dating site nine years ago. I even tried dating foreigners. One of them wrote that he was a descendant of aristocrats. I admit, I used to dream about this so much that I immediately imagined myself with my future husband at a diplomatic reception among the local elite. Do you know how far from reality the image of an overseas prince turned out to be? But I, as if under a spell, continued to believe in the fairy tale and lived with him for 3 years!
And another gentleman said that he was a sniper in Yugoslavia and a book was even written about him! After 2 years, in a casual conversation with his father, it turned out that these were just painful fantasies and a desire to create a heroic image out of practically nothing. How much time have I wasted by believing these liars!”
To avoid getting into an unpleasant situation, remember that out of 100 representatives of the stronger sex from such sites, only two or three men will suit you - such is the sad statistics. D about how to go on a date, be sure to meet . Read each point carefully, pay attention to details - perhaps this will save your life or at least your nervous system from shock.
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